i shouldn't be here technically speaking.. not ever suppose to be online .. but heck lar.. haiz.. study ppl! life sucks man.. :( gonna attempt to study again.. jiayou peeps!

Feeling the stress.. Sigh.. No mood to blog. ARgh.. Bad.. I'm lagging behind my mugging timetable.. this sucks.. haiz.. Jiayou peeps! Last obstacle..

I'm scared, for the first time. Esp the subject i'm so weak in.. What to do?! sigh.. I dun wanna flunk it either! so i'm gonna start mugging my way through it (hopefully).. Wanna get it done and over with, but not by failing it obviously. Sigh.. First year in IP has certainly drained alot of energy out of me.. Just feel like giving up sometimes, but i remembered i told myself i should never give up no matter how harsh circumstances are! 不要轻易放气,否则对不起自己! this famous quote from MVP valentine. HOw i wish i had a girl who said that to me everytime i feel like giving up? haha. My chinese teacher just "enlightened" me today that there is actually fate in this world no matter how hard u chose to not believe. Why are you born in that particular family you're in? Why are you born in singapore and not overseas? Why are you that tall or short? All these are all fated aren't they? Don't tell me you can change all that.. I guess maybe somehow one day ur fated one will also appear bah, so no point trying to search for it and go through many failed relationships... lols. such a thing coming from henry.. Well, have to get started on my studying, considering the fact that i'm lagging behind.. jiayou to all those out there also mugging for the end of year exams!

I suddenly feel like crying.. haha.. this might sound really weird but well, ya.. I thought of so much just now.. first things first, my results. I scored only 51 for my lang arts for CA2. THat's the supposedly language if u're in sec school. 54 for CA1 and 51 for CA2. Apparently, the CAs make up 60% of the final year.. So my end of year exam comprises 40% and i have to pass that. If not, i will be so seriously screwed.. but chances are i will fail that since i have not pass a single test before. Sigh.. I really dun wan to let one subject pull me down.. All my subjects are relatively well or average but this ONE subject, ONE!..

Life really have no meaning nowadays. I just feel like hanging out with friends, just talk to them, to play with them. Maybe even just sit down and enjoy a moment of silence together. Life's so hectic that i hardly get to rest and take a breather. I just wanna go to the beach, to shout it out, all my frustrations deep within..

friends? do i really have friends here? i wonder at times.. but well, i'm still glad i have a bunch of great ppl to hang out with. :) how i wish i was still a sec 1 or 2 now back in ahs.. sigh.. i shall go get my webfolio done hopefully. haha. bye!

It's a misunderstanding. It's becoz i assume things too much. It's becoz u didn't clearly explain things and we only look at things from our point of view. well, now that things are cleared up, i dunno what i would do too. But one thing for sure, u left a scar that can never be healed.. there's once i pass by mini toons, i thought of getting u candies coz u always got me that, but i had no money so couldn't get u that. But by the next time i pass by the same shop, things have happened so fast that i couldn't take it. just take it that maybe i was too sensitive, coz i'm not used to being so restricted. Well, it's all for my own good right? I have nothing to say, truthfully nothing. the most i can say is that it's all a big big misunderstanding. :) dun brood over it le. what has past has past, just get on with life.

My schedule has been so packed for the past few days and i have no time at all to calm myself down, much less to blog. Today i ran all around until i was almost entirely exhausted. First i went tampines at 12 to have haagen daz, then to sengkang, then to hougang, then to punggol, then to marina bay. lolx. Throughout this whole period of time, i was so tired... :( I dun really wanted to go to marina despite the fact that i really wanna go for the class gathering. Firstly it was really far, secondly i was too tired to eat.. haha. call it lazy but really tiring lor.. can die.. My whole body like tofu by the time i reach there. BUt well, worth the sacrifice lar.. All the joy an laughter that i had in sec 2 was once again heard. I miss you guys! i really do! :)

The holidays are ending soon! And i'm like damn screwed.. sigh.. my webfolio not done.. argh! and the revisions that i planned to do have not been done. why am i turning for the worse instead of the better? sometimes i really feel like breaking down.. Why am i slogging my way through school when i have much better things to do? BUt well, certs are ur entrance ticket to university and then to work. sianz. This is bad.. Singapore is really putting so much pressure on the students. I wanna migrate! maybe i will go australia and find u isaac! lols.

i dun feel like blogging le.. wanna sleep. damn tired.. lots of thoughts and reflections to be made.. i hate life. life sucks big time. period. ANd i have to start to follow my timetable. STudy! and those out there too, better start studying for ur end of year exams! all the best! :)

I went for the project superstar finals! it was a hell fun over there man.. Can't believe i was there watching the whole live process.. I was suppose to sit like all the way back in some corner where i can't even get a good view of the stage de, but somehow, god blessed me and me and my friends get to shift down all the way to the front due to some error in seatings.. I was so damn happy can.. I almost scream when i saw kelly.. lols.. realise i was like some desperate kiddo idolising her like that.. but well, it's not always u get to go to such occasions and see ur idol within 10m. haha. My friend and i really went crazy lar.. cameras were clicking away like no one's business.. The whole show really took the hell lot of energy of us.. Constantly hopping from one spot to another to snap photos.. THen have to persuade the back stage crew to help us get her autograph.. damn happy lar.. words can't describe the joy i had that time.. ANd she waved to me.. or maybe to a whole group. But well, i was there and she waved.. to me!!! haha.. But sad to say, she lost the finals.. Call it sympathy or what but well, at least she got the "better" contract. And that night xin huey was really captivating, sexy, marvelous, beautiful, heavenly, watever u can use to describe how angellic she was.. lols. The duet with jun yang was awesome.. My knees almost gave way when i saw her on tv just now.. haha. SHe sure knows how to "seduce". Lols. Sigh.. BUt too bad lar.. Well, kelly still my idol! haha.

Was out of house for 3 consecutive days and i almost die of fatigue and hunger.. It was really tiring lar.. NEver felt this tired before. Dun even feel like walking just now lor.. ANd the first night i didn't even sleep a single minute.. haha. WAs playing X-box the whole night. DAMn fun.. I really had fun with my friends. It's just something i dun usually felt during my normal school days with the people around me. sigh.. all good things always come to an end de.. ANd my weekend finally ended on a high note.

But something happen during this period of time, something big which i dun really wanna talk about. It just hurt me so much that this "trust" that we had, was actually like that to you.. Call it a misunderstanding or whatsoever, it never actually crossed my mind that you would do such things to me, to us. Do you really think we can't freaking think for our own sake? we can't differentiate what's right and wrong? this is so not going to work out until the day when u convinced me that i actually destroy this trust and relationship that we had just by this single action which i unknowingly commited without thinking much. Dun wanna talk anymore. period. DUn ask me why, dun even try, you wouldn't get a single detail out from me.

SOrry for being so violent. Well, i'm starting to get worried for my final years.. sigh.. It is like 4 weeks away and i'm still slacking. especially when i have a subject that has a score of 51? sianz.. i dunno what to do with that lar.. chances are i will fail it leh.. haiz.. this is bad.. I shall put in an extra effort to do well, to pass, this subject at the end of year.. :)

And yes, looking forward to the supposedly gathering that we gonna have. So well , gtg then. bye peeps.. sigh.. sometimes i just lost my direction and motivation of life..